How do I heal from my trauma?

Allah has blessed my family with wealth, safety, etc. And as I received more commodities and wealth, and as I attempted to uphold high ideals, which were shaped by 17 years of experience in diverse settings in many countries, I thought that God would support me whenever I needed him. But when I desperately needed him during a school fight, I did not see his aid. In school, a teenager on Basketball scholarship was haring me during gym cl, and because of his verbal harment, other devious teens also joined in. Their harment was subtle enough to not incur reproach from gym instructor, so after being embarred to my boiling point, I challenged the haring teen to fight me. He was 7 inches taller than me, and was the basketball team's captain. I prayed to God to help his Muslim slave in need. During the fight, I could have hammered his head, and countered his headlock--but stupid me--thought about repercussions of damaging his brain and did not try to hit him; rather, I tried to lift up a significantly taller and heavier person than me to end the fight without permanently hurting him. I failed, he threw me to the ground, and punched me on face and head twice. I had a concussion, and undoubtedly, I also incurred lasting brain damage. And I did not even manage to him once because I thought God would help me, and because I did not want to hurt his brain. I always thought that I was special because I kept receiving blessings, and I was elevated from poor social standing to a much higher one. But that day, when I needed him most, God disappointed me. I always had an inherent feeling that I was special and one day, I would greatly help my poor, suffering brethren Muslims--this feeling was reinforced by my family's continuous increase in fortune; but after suffering brain damage from that event, when I could have avoided it by going on the offensive, which I didn't because of an emotional weakness that exists no more, and being disappointed by lack of God's aid, I do not expect more from God. Furthermore, I wonder if a God can really be called as such when he cannot--or does not--alleviate the sufferings of his people? Sure, there may be a nice ending in heaven for the sufferers, but I would rather not suffer in this world, and not be granted heaven or hell. I would rather not be alive than have lost to that non Muslim, sick-minded individual. God, you did not help me that day;consequently, I incurred brain damage, which now makes me question the practicality of my dreams. I would have devoted my entire self, intellect, body, wealth, etc., to helping the conditions of suffering Muslims, but since you favored a strong non Muslim over a weak Muslim, a part of me will never forgive you, no matter what my state of mind or condition is in the future.